Heartbreak of a Di' Angelo
by invisible-demigod
Summary: Heartbreaking thoughts of a Di' Angelo. HOO spoiler alert. If you haven't read House of Hades, go out and buy that and then come back to read this one-shot fanfiction. This is also one of my pathetic excuses for writing, so I can understand if you don't want to read this. Really, this story was to deal with my feels.


**So I wrote this pretty fast today due to this song I was listening to and my feelings right now. Its a helpless feeling of never being enough for that one person, for never being "there's." And in that desperation, I wrote this. Enjoy this desperate attempt at the heartbreaking thoughts of Nico Di' Angelo and sorry for not updating. I'm not a good writer, I ramble, I run-on, I can't keep topics around in my brain for more than a few months. I don't know when there will be an update for one of my stories. But her you go, have a one-shot, and I should stop now.**

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Heartbreak is never a good feeling, especially when you're the feeler of bad feelings. Being a child of Hades was never easy, and never got easier. Holding grudges, being feared, being isolated was the fate of the children of death. He would never be happy, not without a deal with the devils. Nico couldn't let it show his break. He couldn't show himself to be weak, to feel insecure about the feelings inside him. He couldn't breathe, couldn't feel, couldn't do anything while he was around. Percy was his breaking point.

He broke a little every time he smiled, every time he laughed, every time he popped into his mind because he knew he could never happen. It would never happen. They wouldn't, shouldn't couldn't. Nico could never imagine a perfect future, but when he thought about it, one with him wouldn't be all that bad. It would be as close to perfect as it could be, just being by his side, just being friends. He thought just being friends would be enough, but it never would be. A friendship supporting him and Annabeth would be heartbreaking, damaging to himself. He let himself steal a few glances, a few thoughts, but never be into it. Never have him over compassing himself.

He knew it would be hard, staying by his side when Percy was with Annabeth, watching the two of them grow closer and he and Percy grow farther apart. Although he knew the dreams of him would end, it didn't know it would all fall apart so soon. He didn't know they would fall. He didn't know he wouldn't be able to do anything. He didn't know what the fates had in store for the boy he loved.

Percy, the older brother, a loyal friend, someone who means to more to him than "friend." He was always there for him, even when he didn't want him. Nico never stopped thinking about him, even when they were gone, even when he was away. The way it works, never being able to be there for him like Annabeth, never meaning something to him other than a "little brother," tore him from the inside out. He waited for so long, waited for Percy to notice. He never did. Even as it was obvious to Hazel, to everyone else aboard the Argo II except Annaebth and Percy, he would never say it. He would never admit it. Always, it would be locked up hidden from view, from himself. Nico couldn't let himself be ruled by emotions. But there was always a part of him that hoped Percy would see him as something else, something more. It didn't happen, and then it was too late.

He still remembered it, watching them fall farther and farther into the worst place in the world. Tartarus was something he wanted nothing to do with, and Nico knew it changed him. He was broken, and no one could fix him. He remembered feeling helpless when Percy called out for help and he could do nothing. He remembered the feeling of despair seeing them disappear off the edge, feeling their souls slip from this world and into the underworld.

How he just sit there and do nothing while the boy of his dreams feel to his sure death? He tried moving, but it was useless. Nico was too weak, yet again. After all Percy had done for him, saving him countless of times, he could do nothing. Nothing.

The thoughtlessness followed the next days, making him more antisocial than ever. He knew it was his turn to do something. Nico knew that Percy cared, as if he was a little brother and nothing more. And it still crushed him piece by piece, and lost himself when they fell. His trip left him dead inside, barely anything to hold on to, what would it do to him? What would it do to the boy he loved? Break him like himself?

The thought of going back frightened him, but not as much as never getting the chance to see him again. A life with him was hard, but without him? Who knew how this would go. Nico couldn't imagine it, never seeing Percy, never laughing, smiling, hearing his voice. He couldn't leave him there. Nico couldn't, not for his life or anyone else's. They would get Percy back, he would make sure.


End file.
